Tracing the Family Tree In Me

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Opinion Pieces

Saturday, 07 November 2009 13:13

By D Francis

A friend of mine, quite advanced in age, told me he paid a visit to a longtime relative whom he hadn’t seen for a long time, just to say hello and catch up on old times. His visit was well spent, as not only did he catch up on old times, but he also caught up with a list of relatives he never knew. To his amazement, some of them he had seen all the time, but never knew they were family.

I’m sure this has happened to many of us at some point in our lives. Sometimes it’s only at major gatherings like funerals or weddings that you hear that this is your cousin and this is your aunty or uncle and so on.

Tracing or connecting your family tree can bring mixed reactions. According to a local saying, "You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” Some people whom we’ve discovered to be family we are proud to have, while others, well we prefer not to, based on their character. Whatever is the case, your family is your family, that cannot change.

However, we don’t have to wait until something happens to know our family, to meet our extended family or use the word “family” when it’s in your favour. Based on how things are going now, today you are here, tomorrow you are gone; it’s good to live good with and to know your family.

There are so many ways that you could know them already, such as paying a visit to extended family members and discussing the subject, organizing a family reunion, and keeping in close contact and good relations with the ones you already know so you can learn about the others.

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I found myself in a similar situation with regard to my extended family the other day. I was at a cousin's funeral at the St Georges Anglican church and I met my newly found cousins from Pigotts, who were showing me cousins and more cousins all over the church yard. It was quite an interesting experience, and we were saying that there is a definite need for a family reunion; well, we are still working on that.

I heard of a situation where a man and a woman found out they were relatives after being involved romantically. Now you may say this is too small a place for something like that to happen, but it did, and maybe this could have been avoided if things had been done differently.

Taking time out to know who your relatives are is an exercise which should not be taken lightly, no matter the circumstances. In the end, it may work for the benefit of all.

 

 

 

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